


Retaining Us

by haekass



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2020-02-04 14:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haekass/pseuds/haekass
Summary: Hyukjae and Donghae have made it through the required two years of service. But are they still them?





	Retaining Us

**Author's Note:**

> This idea popped into my head one day, and just wouldn't leave. Fail!angst, because I really do fail at angst. I'm more of a fluff person. Ah well, I tried.

“I've never seen him like that before,” Heechul said, a worried look on his face. Granted, he was in the dorms and no cameras (well, aside from the one on his laptop) were on him, but for him to show this much concern was rare.

 

“That's why I called all of us to discuss this,” Jungsu said. “I knew something was wrong as soon as he was coming towards us.” He had gone with Donghae's manager to pick Donghae up from the army post he'd been stationed at for the last twenty-three long months. Both he and Hyukjae had gone into active duty, them overriding the protests from management, stating that it would be in the benefit of Super Junior's image for them to do so. Hyukjae went into the army a week before Donghae, so it staggered their return times just the slightest bit. Jungsu had been there to pick up every single member on their return, aside from Heechul and Yesung, and while Hyukjae was all smiles and nearly moonwalked out, Donghae walked towards him with wide, frightened eyes and had visibly flinched when the guard lowered behind him.

 

Jungsu nearly shuddered remembering how he spent the entire three hour car ride trying to bring any form of the Donghae that he knew out of hiding. As soon as they had returned to the dorms, he didn't bother bringing Donghae to the nearly empty 12th floor, and instead pounded on Hyukjae's door and left Donghae with Hyukjae, then had immediately texted every single member and called a full meeting.

 

Meetings of this scale were rare, since everyone was usually so busy, and Jungsu went around the room, counting heads again, as if it would magically make Siwon appear. They only had another seven months, and Siwon would be back with them, he reminded himself. He looked at the three laptops gathered at one end, Han Geng's face filling Heechul's laptop, while Kibum's face filled his, and Kyuhyun's had Zhou Mi. Only Hyukjae and Donghae were missing from the meeting.

 

“And you don't know what's wrong with him?” Kibum asked.

 

Jungsu shook his head. “He didn't talk for the entire ride. He's been with Hyukjae all afternoon.”

 

“That's not like Donghae,” Heechul said, slapping Ryeowook's hand away from his mouth when the younger was about to start biting his thumb in nervousness.

 

They all looked up as the door opened and Hyukjae appeared in the doorway. “I was wondering where everyone was,” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his short hair.

 

“How's Donghae?” Jungsu immediately asked.

 

“He's sleeping, hyung.”

 

“Whats wrong with him?” Zhou Mi prompted from China, where he was filming a drama.

 

Hyukjae sighed and found an empty space on the floor. “Which version do you want?”

 

“Short,” Youngwoon said quickly. “We'll get the full version later.”

 

“Donghae's commander was convinced that Donghae is gay from all of the fanservice that we've done,” Hyukjae finally said, his normally calm voice reflecting the pent-up fury. “From what I could get out of him, it was all verbal abuse and menial labor if he did anything that could even be considered outside the rules. He doesn't quite believe that this isn't a dream.”

 

There was absolute dead silence for a minute before the noise level exploded.

 

There was a four part chorus of “What the _fuck_ ” from Kyuhyun, Heechul, Youngwoon, and surprisingly, Han Geng, who obviously remembered _that_ part of his Korean vocabulary, while Ryeowook howled in outrage, joining with Zhou Mi's startled Mandarin and everyone else's exclamations.

 

“ _Hey_ ,” Hyukjae suddenly yelled, killing all of the noise. “Please lower your voices, I don't want him to wake up when I'm not there.”

 

Heechul frowned. “Then what are you doing up here?” Jungsu had his head buried in his hands.

 

“I was going to cook us some ramen.”

 

Ryeowook was shaking his head. “You go back, I'll bring you something to eat.”

 

“Wookie...”

 

Ryeowook shook his head. “No, hyung. Go back to Donghae and don't let him wake up alone. I'll bring you something.”

 

Hyukjae sighed and bowed his thanks slightly, and wearily climbed back to his feet. “Night everyone,” he called on his way out.

 

Heechul poked Jungsu on the shoulder, and when that didn't bring the elder's head up from his hands, resorted to wrapping an arm around the leader and leaning into him. It was their silent signal that the other was there to share the load, one that had gone back to before their debut. Jungsu's head nodded and he shoved lightly back. It was a good thing that they both worked on pretty much the same wavelength, and Heechul knew that he needed to head the meeting for a few moments while Jungsu pulled himself back together. The closest members all found a way to touch Jungsu, letting their emotional leader know that he wasn't alone. “Ryeowook, are you listening?”

 

“Yes, hyung!” Ryeowook called from the kitchen area.

 

“Well, I think this also brings the rest of us to a point that's been needed to be discussed for years...”

 

 

Hyukjae slid back into his bed, his hands automatically going to familiar positions on Donghae's waist and curving under his head. Two years without his best friend had felt like an eternity to him – they had been stationed on nearly opposite sides of the country, and now he knew why Donghae was only able to contact him sporadically outside of email. He felt a heaviness in his heart – he was never really good with returning emails, and he wondered how badly he had damaged Donghae's fragile emotional state by not returning an email promptly. Biting his lips, he pulled Donghae closer to him, praying that their friendship hadn't been damaged by time, distance, and one very callous commander.

 

His eyes slipped closed as the emotional toll of the day caught up to him, and he sighed heavily into Donghae's shoulder. “I'm so sorry, Donghae,” he whispered. “I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, and I really hope that you can forgive me.”

 

Donghae whimpered slightly in his sleep, and Hyukjae pulled him even closer until their chests were bumping together with each inhale they took.

 

“It's okay, Hae. I'm here. And I'm not leaving you alone ever again,” he whispered into Donghae's ear, hoping that the words registered.

 

He held Donghae like that until there was a soft knock on his door. Donghae jerked awake, his eyes wide and frightened as Ryeowook's head appeared.

 

“Oh! I didn't mean to wake you, hyung,” he said, an apology written all over his eternally youthful face.

 

“Come on in, Wookie,” Hyukjae said, sitting up in bed, dragging a now wide awake Donghae with him. “Food?” he asked, sniffing appreciatively.

 

Ryeowook nodded and his head disappeared, but returned along with the rest of his body, his hands holding a very full bag. Hyukjae's eyes widened. They were supposed to eat all of that by themselves?

 

“I reheated a few things for you both,” he started, listing off what was in the bag. Finally, he smiled slightly at Donghae, who was watching him with a sort of abject fascination. Once the bag was set down on the bed, Ryeowook leaned over and hugged Donghae, feeling the older flinch slightly, but then arms wrapped around the lean frame. “I'm glad you're back, hyung. I missed you.”

 

Donghae nodded, hugging the younger tightly to him. “Hyung missed you too, Ryeowookie...”

 

Ryeowook sniffed and disengaged himself after a moment. Hyukjae busied himself with grabbing a few dishes and eating utensils out of the bag, biting his lower lip. “Eat well, hyungs!” he called as he shut the door behind him.

 

Hyukjae stayed quiet as he pulled the food out, not sure what to say.

 

“Hyukkie...” Donghae started, then faded off. Hyukjae looked up, and was unsurprised to see the tears. Feeling the tears sting at his eyes, he moved forward and they clung to each other tightly.

 

“Donghae,” Hyukjae choked out, trying to express everything within the space of Donghae's name and failing at it terribly. But it seemed to be just the thing that broke Donghae's defenses down. With a loud sob of Hyukjae's name, Donghae tried to move even closer as he cried. Hyukjae muttered nonsense words, trying to soothe the man falling apart in his arms.

 

***

 

Hyukjae wasn't surprised to see the text the next day from Jungsu, who told him to drag Donghae upstairs along with himself. Donghae had slept off and on all through the night, jerking awake at random points, patting Hyukjae to make sure that he was real, then snuggling back down into sleep. They'd been sleeping most of the day, but Hyukjae reluctantly poked a half-dozing Donghae and told him about the summons from their leader.

 

They shuffled upstairs after donning comfortable sweatpants and t-shirts, both of them yawning and leaning on each other slightly. Youngwoon opened the door for them and gave Donghae a hug. “Jungsu's waiting for you up there,” he said pointing at the doorway while grabbing a pair of shoes.

 

Neither of them had bothered with shoes, so they walked up into the common area, Hyukjae nervously biting his lips. He gripped Donghae's hand tightly when he saw that it wasn't just Jungsu there, but Heechul, too.

 

“Good, you're here,” Heechul said. “Sit.”

 

Jungsu held up a finger, indicating that he would be with them in a moment. “Yes, thanks, hyung.”

 

“It's done, then?” Heechul asked when Jungsu had set his phone down.

 

“What's done?” Hyukjae finally asked.

 

“I made sure neither of you have schedules for the next week and a half, and I convinced manager-hyung to push back your welcome back fanmeets for the weekend after next.”

 

“What?””Why?” both he and Donghae asked at the same time.

 

“I want to make sure Donghae is up for it, and this is the most important one – we all want both of you to sit down and seriously figure out where your EunHae thing is going.”

 

Heechul held up a hand when Hyukjae was about to protest. “Hyukjae, save your breath. This is something that we all noticed before you both left – hell, we've all noticed it since you two _met_. Now that you both have managed to make it through your military service, it's really past time for the both of you to admit that you both love each other far more than just friends and figure out where to go from here.”

 

Hyukjae could feel his face heat, and knew that Donghae's reaction was much the same at Heechul's blatant words and insinuation. “Hyung -”

 

“This wasn't just Heechul,” Jungsu said. “This was all thirteen of the rest of us in a unanimous vote.” He made sure that both of them looked at him. “We love both of you. Please believe that. We all love you and want to see both of you happy, and if you both decide that your happiness is with each other, then we will all support you, the same as if you both decide to remain friends only.” Jungsu opened the envelope that he'd been playing with and extracted two sheets of paper. “We all pooled some money together to send both of you on vacation for the week, starting tomorrow.”

 

Donghae's eyes were downcast. “You're serious about this, hyung,” he quietly commented.

 

Jungsu hugged Donghae tightly to him, whispering something that Hyukjae couldn't make out. Heechul tapped him on the shoulder and nodded towards the hallway. Hyukjae nodded and rose, his hand patting Donghae's shoulder comfortingly as he left. He knew that he needed to leave their leader and the member he had sworn to take care of like his own child alone for a few moments.

 

“Hyung...” Hyukjae started, only to be cut off by Heechul's wave.

 

“Hyukjae, you knew this day would be coming as soon as you came out of the service, stop trying to pretend like you're shocked that the rest of us would actually do something about it,” Heechul said in his normally blunt way. “Honestly, you both have been dancing around the subject for far too long, and you're too worried about what everyone else will think of you to act on anything you feel.”

 

“And with good reason, hyung! I've spent the past _day_ trying to get Donghae to _speak_ , can you imagine if we _had_ done anything?” Hyukjae finally exploded.

 

“This reaction is exactly why we want you both to figure this out. We don't need to know, nor do most of us want to know if you and Donghae are fucking each other silly – it's not our business. What _is_ our business is two of our dongsaengs making each other unhappy by refusing to even consider a possibility the rest of us thought to be fact years ago. Now stop arguing, you're getting a vacation courtesy of your hyungs and dongsaengs to spend with your best friend while the rest of us are keeping up with our schedules.”

 

Hyukjae knew that bite in Heechul's voice and promptly shut his mouth. “Yes, hyung.”

 

“Promise me something, Hyukjae. Promise me that you will consider any and all aspects without thought of how anyone else will view it.”

 

“Our parents...”

 

“Promise me, Hyukjae.” Now Heechul's voice was pure steel, and Hyukjae knew that he was treading on thin ice with his sharp-tongued hyung.

 

“I promise, hyung.”

 

***

 

The clear blue of the ocean was more of a balm to Donghae's psyche than anything else, and Hyukjae smiled at seeing the familiar smile. He shoved Donghae towards the small bungalow their band mates had rented. “Go on, you fish. The sooner you're in the water, the happier you'll be.”

 

Donghae was happily splashing in the warm water when Hyukjae waded into the ocean. He didn't have such an intense connection to the sea like Donghae did, but even without that connection, he felt at peace as he felt the warm water flow past his legs, the feel of the sand squishing between his toes, and the heat of the sun on his shoulders.

 

His eyes cracked open as he heard a sound he hadn't heard in over two years, and his lips stretched into the gummy smile as he heard Donghae's laughter again. “It's nice to hear you laughing again, Donghae,” he said.

 

Donghae smiled widely and splashed water at him. “I finally feel like I _can_ laugh again, Hyukkie.”

 

“Convinced that this isn't a dream yet?” he asked. He didn't really want to bring up painful memories under the warm sun, but he needed the reassurance that his best friend was becoming his best friend again.

 

Donghae stilled for a second, his smile losing a fraction of the happiness. Hyukjae wanted to kick himself. “If this is a dream, I never want to wake up,” Donghae finally replied, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the waves. He reached out his hand, and automatically Hyukjae took it. It only took them a minute before they were hugging, Hyukjae doing his best to will the shivers out of Donghae's body. “I missed you, Hyukjae,” he sniffed into Hyukjae's shoulder. “I missed you so much.”

 

Hyukjae hugged him tighter and rested his cheek on Donghae's shoulder. “I missed you too, Donghae. I missed you every single day.”

 

They stayed like that, clinging to each other, for several minutes. Hyukjae just breathed in the smell of the sea, the sand, and Donghae, trying to come to grips with the fact that Donghae had changed over two years. But then again, so had he. They were on a time limit – they had six more days and seven more nights to make sure that they were still _them_ , that the friendship that had let them get away with so much fanservice was still there. The promise he had made to Heechul also burned in his mind, reminding him that he had even less time than that to find out what Donghae really meant to him.

 

***

 

Waking up with Donghae's morning erection pressing into his stomach was almost a welcome return to normalcy for Hyukjae. It never disgusted him, or made him feel any less masculine, and he definitely couldn't lie and say that Donghae had never turned him on. He just had always nudged Donghae to turn over. But Heechul's parting words were lingering in his head, and it kept him still aside from rubbing soft circles on Donghae's back.

 

He had to admit that waking up to another warm body in bed was nice, and Donghae was nicer than most to wake up with. Sure, he stole the covers, and his morning breath was pretty bad, but there was something nice about the total innocence that he had while his eyes were closed that made him quite appealing. And it was pretty nice the way their bodies just remembered each other and fell into the most comfortable sleeping positions. Donghae always threw a leg over him and brought Hyukjae's head down to his chest, their arms tangling comfortably.

 

'You know you want him for the rest of your life, Hyukjae,' Heechul had said as they said their goodbyes at the dorm. The rest of their lives was a funny thing to think about – he had never quite expected to make it this far with Super Junior. When they first debuted, it was with sadness knowing that at some point, their project group would have members leave and others come in. Members did come in – Kyuhyun, and Henry, and Zhou Mi – and members left – Kibum, and then Han Geng, and almost Heechul – but the core of the group didn't. And here they were, not expected to last more than a few years at most, still together. And through it all was Donghae. Donghae would never leave the group, he knew, and he would never leave because Donghae never would. It was always _them_. Together.

 

He had always known what he wanted, he had just always held himself back, the denial easier than the truth. There were too many pressures from outside – their impending (and now past) army duties, what the fans would think (half of them would probably pay for a wedding and honeymoon for them), what management would think (didn't half of them ship EunHae too?), what the others would think (well, Heechul had cleared that up for him), what their families would think (Donghae called his own mother 'Mom' and he knew that his father would ask, sometimes jokingly and sometimes not how his 'wife' was doing) – but now in the quiet calm, Donghae pressed against him, he finally admitted it to himself.

 

“What are you thinking about so hard?” Donghae sleepily mumbled, then poked him when he didn't answer right away.

 

“Trying to figure out the words to apologize to you.”

 

Donghae's eyes cracked open. “Huh?”

 

Hyukjae smiled sadly. “You always wanted to be a father so badly. It's selfish of me to want to destroy that dream just because I want to stay with you. I'm sorry for all those years when I knew how you felt, but I was too scared about how others would view me if I loved you back, for leaving you alone for two years...” Both of them were crying by this point, Donghae's tears sending Hyukjae's tears rolling down his face. “I'm so, so sorry Donghae. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, or if you even still care about me...”

 

His breath felt like it was being squeezed out of him from Donghae hugging him tightly.

 

“I don't think I could ever stop,” he confessed quietly. “I know it's not what you ever wanted...”

 

Hyukjae silenced him. “It's all I ever needed to hear. I don't know how you could ever love someone as selfish as I am...”

 

“It's not selfishness if I want the same thing.”

 

They grinned at each other, then Donghae leaned forward just the slightest bit. Completely out of reflex, Hyukjae jerked back, then sighed irritably. He'd always considered himself mostly straight – aside from those weird dreams on occasion, and the furtive hand jobs from others, of course – and the way Donghae looked at him while coming closer, well it was a little odd – especially with an erection still digging into his stomach.

 

Donghae dipped his head, color staining his cheeks. “Sorry,” he mumbled, moving like he was about to turn over.

 

It wasn't that hard, was it? Just a simple meeting of lips. It's not like they hadn't kissed on the lips before, Hyukjae reasoned to himself. If he was serious about being with Donghae, he would really need to get over his knee-jerk reactions. Donghae was half rolled over, so Hyukjae just followed, sprawling on the suddenly prone body. Donghae's eyes were wide as Hyukjae pressed their lips together.

 

He held the kiss for a few seconds before pulling back. “This is still a little new for me,” he confessed. “It's going to take a little while for me to not pull back from you.” He gave Donghae a shove. “But if you want anything more, it's going to be after you get rid of that morning breath.”

 

“Oh like yours is any better,” Donghae shot back with a shove of his own.

 

And like that, they were _them_ again – laughing and shoving each other towards the washroom, cracking jokes at the other's expense (“I don't stink that bad!””Oh really? Say that to my nose!”) and falling into the old routine (Hyukjae gets first shower while Donghae brushes his teeth and washes his face, then switch) easily. Hyukjae stood in the kitchen area while waiting for Donghae, staring at the selection of food available. A neatly typed note in somewhat mangled Korean (courtesy of some translation program, Hyukjae was sure) still sat on the table, stating when the housekeeper would arrive to restock the freezer with prepared meals, change the sheets, and do general tidying.

 

He jumped when he felt a hand slide along his back, but relaxed as Donghae gave him a hug from behind. “What do you want to do today?” Donghae asked, almost all childish innocence again.

 

Turning, Hyukjae smiled. “I know what I want to do first,” he muttered as he leaned in, pressing his lips against Donghae's again. The kiss only remained chaste for a few seconds before Donghae parted his lips and swiped his tongue against Hyukjae's lips. Therein lied the dare, the experiment, and Hyukjae took on the challenge without a second thought. Probably just as Donghae had thought he would, but Hyukjae had a few other things on his mind – like how it wasn't much different than him kissing any of his ex-girlfriends, but it _was_ different in that he could taste the toothpaste that Donghae had used just a few minutes before, but it wasn't that different because it was _nice_ and _good_ and every other superlative he could think of, but it was different because it was _Donghae_.

 

It was _Donghae_ who was pulling him closer, the hard muscles of his chest bumping against Hyukjae's own muscles, it was _Donghae_ who was moaning – _or was it him?_ – and it was definitely _Donghae's_ growing-and-it-hasn't-been-this-soft-since-they-debuted hair under his fingers as he was threading his fingers through it to get a better angle on the kiss.

 

When they broke apart for air, Hyukjae noticed that they were both gasping for breath, but Donghae was smiling slightly  at him. Automatically, he smiled back, dropping a kiss on the nose he had often rubbed his own against in days past. “Want to go watch a movie outside?” he finally asked.

 

“As long as it's not from your porn collection,” Donghae joked.

 

A soft punch to the shoulder, and they were both laughing as they split apart to different destinations, Hyukjae to get his laptop, and Donghae to get them some form of breakfast they could eat comfortably.

 

***

 

They were in the middle of their vacation when Donghae suddenly asked what they were going to do for their fanmeet.

 

“I hadn't thought of anything, and manager-hyung hasn't said that we had to do anything beyond meeting and signing. Why?”

 

Donghae shrugged his shoulders shyly. “It was a silly thought...”

 

Hyukjae knew that Donghae had an idea, but it was too-recent memories of having his every move scrutinized that made him shy. “What was it?”

 

“The fans have been without any of our brand of fanservice for two years now, I just thought it would be a nice thing for them to see again.”

 

Hyukjae frowned. “Are you sure you're up for that after everything you've been through?” That was his first concern – making sure that Donghae was comfortable, but he had to admit to being nervous. He had admitted to himself that he wanted Donghae in far more than a friendship, but where did they draw the line? Or more precisely, where did _he_ draw the line between on stage fanservice and off stage reality? Donghae never had that line, and that was one of his most endearing and most annoying traits.

 

“Hyukkie, don't worry about it, it was a silly idea...”

 

“No, Hae. It's not a silly idea. But I don't want you to break down on me, and I guess I'm still getting used to the idea that I _can_ have you off stage and I don't know where to keep the line between fantasy and reality.”

 

Donghae shrugged his shoulders again. “We don't have to, then.”

 

“But do you want to?” Hyukjae returned. “Why do you want to?”

 

Donghae played with his fingers for a moment. “To prove that he didn't break me. That no matter what, I can do what I want, and he has no say, no power over me anymore. And if I want to kiss and hug and even fuck the person that I love, who also just happens to be male, that _I can._ And he has no say.”

 

Hyukjae looked at Donghae for a moment, unbearably proud and sad at the same time. “Then we do it,” he announced firmly.

 

Donghae's adorably confused look plastered itself over his features. “What part?”

 

“In time, all of the above,” Hyukjae said, making sure that Donghae knew he how serious he was. “Let's start off on what flavor of fanservice we're going to start off with.”

 

“I was thinking of doing _Beautiful_ again, honestly.”

 

“Your solo stage?”

 

“Oh did you forget that you danced it with me?” Donghae teased, a smile curving his lips.

 

“No,” Hyukjae muttered. “I guess it's better than _I Wanna Love You_.”

 

Donghae laughed, falling back against the sofa cushions. “I said fanservice, not us coming right out and doing foreplay on stage.”

 

“Why not _Oppa Oppa_ though? Or your last solo?”

 

Donghae shrugged. “I think we've done that _Oppa Oppa_ enough – hell, we'll probably find it in the set list for the next Super Show. And I didn't really enjoy my last solo so much, I want to do one where I loved being on stage.”

 

Hyukjae acknowledged the point with a nod of his head. “Do you still remember the choreography?”

 

“Parts of it? I think?” Donghae made a face. “There's so much choreography stuck in my brain, I don't know what steps go where until I hear the song.”

 

Hyukjae laughed. He often had the same problem. The good thing about their practices is that it wore the song and the steps into muscle memory, but the bad part of it was that until they heard the song, the steps wouldn't come unless it was during the promotional period. “Let's see what we remember first. I bet you didn't get many chances to dance.”

 

Donghae shook his head. “Try almost none at all.”

 

“Ugh! You're going to be so out of practice!”

 

Donghae shrugged. “Let's see what I remember.”

 

“What? Here?” Hyukjae was baffled. There were no mirrors to watch themselves in.

 

“Might as well. Like you said, I'm out of practice. I'm sure you can tell me what I'm doing wrong.”

 

“Not without mirrors! I'm usually in front of you.”

 

Donghae turned wide eyes to him. “Please Hyukkie? I missed dancing and singing and just having fun.”

 

Hyukjae thought that those eyes should be outlawed. “Fine, I'll do my best.”

 

“And Hyukjae?”

 

“Hmm?” he muttered absently while looking for his music player.

 

There was a pause, long enough for Hyukjae to look up and see the slight blush on Donghae's face. “Never mind,” Donghae mumbled, looking away to shove the couch back.

 

“Just say it, Donghae.”

 

Donghae shook his head, a wry smile flattening his lips. “I'll tell you later. Let's dance.”

 

And dance they did – for hours, taking breaks here and there when their breath ran short or they needed to grab yet another bottle of water. Donghae was out of practice, but the steps were burned into muscle memory, and it only took a bit of prompting and the music to bring it back, his natural talent for dancing easing the process. Hyukjae had many opportunities to dance, and some of the friends he made at his camp had asked him on occasion to teach them Super Junior dances to impress the ladies they were trying to woo. So on days off, he had plugged in his music player and let the music take him away.

 

Donghae knew that when his limbs started feeling rubbery that it was time to end their impromptu practice session. They'd danced _Beautiful_ a few times, and he knew that there were mistakes on both of their parts, mistakes that would need to be corrected in a proper practice room. He shook his hands and laid down on the sofa, watching Hyukjae move smoothly, his body popping and locking like it hadn't been more than a day since he last did it.

 

“You're amazing when you dance,” he commented, not able to hold the words back any longer. “You're so focused, so into the moment...”

 

Hyukjae just stared at him for a second before shyly ducking his head.

 

“You're really handsome too, have I mentioned that lately?” The corners of Donghae's mouth were turned up slightly.

 

Even now, over two years after he last heard the words, he still felt shy. “Ehh, you're handsome, too.”

 

Donghae opened his arms and pouted pleadingly, silently asking for a hug.

 

“Why do you always want hugs when we're both sweaty and hot?” Hyukjae grumbled, but moved to the sofa. He sat down on next to Donghae, and twisted his upper body to give Donghae the requested hug.

 

Donghae pouted up at him. “Is that the best you can do?” he teased.

 

“It's the best I _want_ to do when I'm all hot and sweaty,” Hyukjae replied in all seriousness, then sighed at the slight stiffness in the hug. “Hae, stop being shy and just tell me what you want.”

 

“I want you,” Donghae said, finally giving voice to his frustration. “I want you to stop being scared to touch me, like I have a disease or something.”

 

Hyukjae sighed. “Hae, I'm really hot and sweaty...” He never got to finish his sentence as Donghae pulled him up and then flipped him over, then buried his face in Hyukjae's neck.

 

“But I _like_ you all hot and sweaty,” Donghae nearly growled, moving closer. “You said to tell you want I want, and that's it. I want _you_.”

 

It was impossible to miss the hardness rubbing slightly against his thigh. Hyukjae's eyes were wide, mouth parted slightly as his brain struggled to catch up. “I-I thought I stunk?” he stuttered, confused.

 

Donghae snorted, the feral light still not leaving his eyes. “Only your morning breath and your feet. God, the rest of you... I don't know why but I feel like I could just saturate myself with your smell. “

 

Hyukjae suddenly noticed the hands ghosting under his tank top and his breath caught, then released on the barest edge of a moan. His hands reached up, dragging Donghae down to meet his waiting lips. They kissed like they couldn't get enough of each other, hands grabbing at the other's hair or sneaking under shirts to play with a nipple. Shifting his hips just a little, he moaned appreciatively as Donghae's thigh slipped between his legs, giving him a little friction to grind against. He could already feel Donghae doing the same against his own thigh.

 

When they next broke apart for air, it was with guttural grunts as they shifted slightly, their erections pushing against the other's through their loose clothing. Donghae's hips rocked, and Hyukjae tilted his head back, giving voice to a long moan. He had no clue that it would feel this damn _good_. Opening his eyes, he saw Donghae watching him, the dark brown of those eyes almost black, and Hyukjae could see himself reflected there.

 

Pulling Donghae back down, he flipped their positions on the sofa, Donghae's body now pressing into the cushions, Hyukjae rocking his hips in time with the music that still played in the background. Donghae wasn't exactly idle, as his hips moved smoothly upwards to meet with Hyukjae's as he pressed down, and their hands were all over each other again, trying to find erotic zones and always heading back to brush, then tweak nipples. Donghae's moans were rising in pitch slightly, his breathing labored. Not that Hyukjae was any better off, as he could feel the tightness, the heat pooling in his abdomen that told him he didn't have long.

 

Donghae's eyes clenched shut, the line of his throat exposed as his head pressed even further into the cushions. “Oh _fuck_ ,” he moaned, his hands curving around Hyukjae's back. “Oh God, please, please, _please_ ,” he chanted, his voice rising sharply, threatening to crack. Two more thrusts, and Donghae's hands grabbed his non-existent ass to pull him roughly forward as the younger's hips jerked upwards sharply, a sharp cry bursting from Donghae's open mouth. “Oh fuck, _Hyukjae_.”

 

And that was it for Hyukjae. With another harsh thrust forward, he felt himself coming, his vision blanking slightly, but he was pretty sure Donghae's name was spoken there somewhere, because that name was sure as hell bouncing around inside his own head more than enough. He blinked, sure that a few minutes had passed, nearly purring in contentment when Donghae's hands were rubbing along his still-bony back.

 

“Wow,” he finally muttered.

 

“I'll say,” Donghae agreed. “If I had known it would be like that, I would have jumped on you _years_ ago.”

 

Hyukjae chuckled. “I'm glad we waited,” he countered. “I don't think I would have survived years of no sex if I had known.” Then he mad a face. “Ugh, I need to take a shower.” He got up, ignoring Donghae's pout, and moved towards the bathroom. He paused for a moment and looked back over his shoulder. “Well, are you coming or not, Hae?”

 

Donghae's smile stretched across his face as he bounced off the sofa.

 

***

 

Jungsu and Heechul met them in the van as they returned, grateful that their itinerary hadn't been published, so they were able to slip through the airport with no issues and no fans gathering around them, snapping their pictures. Donghae was all smiles as he bounced into the waiting van and he snuggled easily into Jungsu's waiting arms, the grin not disappearing as he turned to give Heechul a hug as well. Both of their hyungs seemed to sit a lot easier in the van as soon as they had gotten a good look at Donghae.

 

Hyukjae flushed a little under Heechul's scrutiny, but the small smile that tilted the second eldest's lips was all it took to settle him. Heechul knew, but as he had previously stated, it wasn't their business, and he and Jungsu would respect that – making the other members follow in their wake.

 

“Well, I hope that you both had a good time...” Jungsu started as the van lurched into traffic, headed home. And as Donghae lightly grabbed a few fingers while they were talking with Jungsu and their managers, Hyukjae smiled. _'EunHae is real'_ both of them had frequently said, and he was glad that it was.


End file.
